Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala

Did you know August is a Sweeps month? Me neither! But judging by the drama here at Digest/Weekly, it’s true! First we had a casting shocker, and yesterday we had a FIRE. I am not even kidding. I ran out to grab a late lunch yesterday afternoon and walked back to the office building only to spy flames shooting out of the roof. As it’s New York, there were people standing around gawking and going, “Hey, yo, that building’s on fire.” I, of course, was like, “That’s MY building!”

I called my colleague Julie up in the office, who was flabbergasted when I told her the roof was on fire. The alarms weren’t going off! I was like, “Dude, no, the roof’s on fire. Get everybody out.” Anyway, the gist of it is that, yes, the alarms kicked in, everyone from all the floors got out, the firemen came, and everything worked out. We were back in the office within an hour. But geez…talk about heart-stopping action!

Consequently, I’m wondering what else can happen before Sept. 1.

—There’s a blackout (entirely possible; it’s happened before.)

—Somebody gives birth in the elevator. (GH Editor Joe: “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!”)

—A mysterious accented mercenary descends upon the offices and makes us all play silly games. (Spin the Bottle, Twister, etc.)

—Somebody pumps a mysterious gas through the vents, causing us all to hallucinate. (Frankly, I believe this happens already…)

—Our two Style editors get struck by lightning and sent to a time period where really ugly prints were “in.”

—A monkey escapes from the Madagascar exhibit at the Bronx Zoo and infects us all with a mysterious virus. (“Is there a monkey by the water cooler?” “No, but there IS one on top of the copier.”)

—Somebody gets hit on the head (probably me, because I’m a klutz) and sent to the afterlife to see beloved vets and learn some kind of life lesson.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that there’s big Sweeps stunts at a soap magazine, huh? I’m just waiting for a SOAPnet reality series set here!


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