I’m starting to feel like a broken record about GL being completely awesome lately, but, seriously, it’s true. I am not spoiling anything since most of the country gets the show at 3 p.m., but the last five minutes of the episode are an absolute MUST-SEE for Otalia fans, and for fans of good soap in general. Afterwards, I got up, walked down the hall and told my colleague Joe, “Oh, my heart.” Complete with a theatrical hand on my chest.

And then Joe and I commenced to sighing about how we start off each day so WELL, with the consistently good and uplifting GUIDING LIGHT and then end it with … GENERAL HOSPITAL. Way to bring a person down, you know? It’s just … not fun. And you’d think, with another Johnny/Maxie kiss starting off the week I’d be a happy camper, right? No! Not so much!

In fact, the writing for JoMax, Lulu, Ethan and Spinelli has me scratching my head. I really don’t know who the show wants viewers to root for. On the one hand, Lulu finally has her spine back and Julie Marie Berman and Brandon Barash killed the JoLu breakup scenes. On the other, I had no idea what Johnny and Maxie’s subsequent scene on the docks was supposed to mean. Was that Johnny just accepting that he’s a screwup and kissing Maxie to seal his fate? Was it supposed to be romantic? Because it sure didn’t play that way … not with Spinelli walking up like the cuckholded swain. Despite the fact that they’ve slept together twice, they’ve made it clear that Maxie’s love for him is platonic. So why the outrage over her having sparkly feelings for John-John? Spinelli and Maxie claim to “know” each other better than anyone … then why doesn’t he know that she’s going to screw up with other guys and just get over it? I also don’t get why Maxie is actively seeking Spin’s forgiveness. Lulu’s the only one that she needs to bow and scrape to! (And I know Spixie fans wish I would root for them, but I just can’t. Some day, I will share my Spinelli issues. Today is not that day.) Then, on top of all of that, we have Ethan … who, I will be honest, I empathize with even less than Spinelli. I just don’t know what we’re supposed to get from the character and why we’re supposed to care about his big secret and personal angst. And his scenes with Lulu in his motel room were such a retread of every single “good girl meets bad boy” scene on daytime that there was nothing new.

One thing that was new? Ric being the one to root for in his scenes with Sonny, Jason, and Claudia. I mean, they’re all pretty tough to side with — what with them ALL being mobular — but Panic Room Ric being in the right is just a crime against nature. And this is just another example of the inconsistent writing. Why would Sonny and Jason not acknowledge they’ve seen Claudia searching the house and acting fishy? Just because it would mean validating Ric for once? Oh, come on. The guy should’ve been dead years ago for what he did to Carly; if you’re going to keep him around, admit he’s at least more apt to be telling the truth than some woman you both met last year!

originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com