…or not so much.

On the heels of our mutual Dirty Dancing remake outrage, my pal Amy, at PopGurls, and I couldn’t help but try to make lemonade out of lemons. Last night, we came up with increasingly ludicrous substitutions for Penny’s back alley abortion.

For the click-shy, a sample: Amy: “Penny has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, so you have to learn The Lift!”

Seriously, folks. I can’t wait to see what cockamamie excuse the screenwriter and Kenny Ortega are going to come up with. A hangnail? Bloating? Twisted ankle? (At which point I would posit that Penny and Johnny could just do The Sprain at the Sheldrake, ala Lisa Turtle and Screech…)