General Hospital recently experienced a shift in writing regimes, wherein longtime head writer Robert Guza, Jr. was replaced by former breakdown writer and ex-associate head writer Garin Wolf. This led to my friend Elizabeth Kerri Mahon (you can read her thoughts here) and I spending a few hours brainstorming what we’d like to see in the coming year. I’m sure I’m not the only soap fan who has played a game of “if I was in charge,” right? I mean, I’ve had some of these wishes and story ideas knocking around in my head for years.
So, without further ado, I give you my Port Charles Perfect 10.
1) After Siobhan and Matt are (regretfully!) sent off the canvas, Lucky ends up in a triangle with Maxie and Elizabeth. This light tale (with an undercurrent of their complicated histories) plays out, in classic Shakespearean style, with a wedding at the end of it!
2) Jason incurs another head injury, which causes his memory of being Jason Quartermaine to flood back to him. As he grapples with that boy he used to be and grieves for the relatives he’s lost in the past decade, he has to reconcile Jason Q with the man he’s become. This brings him back to Edward and ELQ. A pleased but somewhat threatened Tracy has Dillon move back to town to try and unseat Jason as Edward’s heir.
3) Audrey is released from off-screen baby-sitting duty and sent to her Eternal Reward, which leads to a huge memorial and tribute to Steve and Audrey at the hospital. Returnees for the somber but nostalgic occasion include: Tom and Simone Hardy, Tommy Hardy, Scott Baldwin, Lee and Gail Baldwin, Serena Baldwin, Sarah Webber, and Jeff Webber and his unnamed wife. There are tears, flashbacks galore, and maybe a few surprise romances that crop up with the younger guests and established Port Charles young’uns.
3.5) Part and parcel of the Audrey March Hardy memorial would be one last Nurses’ Ball bash, hosted by the one-and-only Lucy Coe. She would, of course, end up in her underwear…much to the amusement of her long-suffering Doc, Kevin.
4) Richard Dean Anderson returns as Jeff for a guest arc during the memorial. Elizabeth finally confronts her absentee father for missing weddings and funerals, and gets to the root of why she’s so needy when it comes to having a male figure in her life.
5) Helena kicks off one grand, twisted scheme that involves both Stavros and Stefan still being alive, the return of Nikolas, the mystery of who fathered Sam with Alexis, and Laura coming back to give Luke what-for. This arc would also include a retcon of the Ethan retcon, and we would learn that Ethan is really Holly and Robert‘s son from when Holly was in a coma.
6) Because of the Ethan reveal, Robert and Anna come back to Port Charles. Once it’s sorted out, they officially pass the torch of being married super-spies to Robin and Patrick, who build a secret room in their house ala Robert and Sean’s old WSB command center. They’re all involved in the Cassadine arc and in being generally heroic.
7) Sonny finally leaves the Mob, but it’s too late: Michael has already taken out Johnny and positioned himself as the east coast’s new kingpin. Devastated and afraid for his younger children, Sonny leaves PC on a journey of self-discovery and penance (ala Oedipus, except with no gouged-out eyes). He would end up at Brenda’s doorstep in Europe. No dialogue would be needed. She’d just open the door and let him in. Then the camera would pull back and Jax would be there behind her…intimating that the three of them will be in a triangle till the end of time.
8.) Rudder-less after Jason returns to the Quartermaines and Jax and Sonny leave town, Carly encounters OLTL‘s Tomas Delgado on the Elm Street Pier. She’s stunned by his resemblance to her late husband, Lorenzo, and eventually learns that the Lorenzo Alcazar she knew wasn’t the real one. Involved in the same shadowy program that created the dueling Todds, Tomas was put into deep cover as Luis’ twin, who had died with his fiancée Sophie Germain some fifteen years before. Carly is furious, but she and Tomas eventually fall in love again.
9) Lucas Jones would visit from Seattle for Carly and Tomas’ wedding and run into cynical, lonely Dr. Kyle Julian (GH: Night Shift), who is still grieving the loss of his partner, Eric. Lucas would channel his big sister and pretty much demand Kyle’s love and loyalty, which would jolt him out of his cocoon of angst — resulting in a heartfelt and humorous romance!
10) FREE BLACKIE PARRISH!