I was feeling claustrophobic and bored on the subway this morning, so in an effort to distract myself, I decided to cast the UberSoap. Yes, folks, this is my ultimate fantasy soap. I’ve tried to think of everything that comprises an average daytime town, and any oversights are not intentional. 

Town: OLTL’s Llanview (it’s got a nice diversification of neighborhoods) 

Principal industry: fashion — specifically B&B’s Forrester Creations and Jackie M with existing staffs, plus ATWT’s Carly and Barbara and GL’s Lizzie (for her keen fashion sense) 

Hotel: Y&R’s Genoa City Athletic Club (hey, it has a restaurant AND a gym; it’s very efficient), run by GL’s Olivia, ATWT’s Lisa and GH’s Jax 

Hospital: General Hospital, staffed by ATWT’s Dr. Bob and Reid, GH’s Robin and Patrick, OLTL’s Kyle and AMC’s Angie and Jake 

Police department: ATWT’s Oakdale PD’s entire squad room, complete with police chief Margo. Detectives and beat cops: OLTL’s Brody and Fish, GH’s Dante and Lucky, DAYS’ Rafe and Hope, AMC’s Jesse and PASSIONS’ Fancy 

DA’s office: GH’s Alexis, ATWT’s Tom 

Private-practice lawyers: OLTL’s Elijah and Nora, GH’s Diane, ATWT’s Jessica,

Newspaper: OLTL’s The Banner, owned by Viki and Clint and staffed by Cassie, Kevin, ATWT’s Emily and DAYS’ Jack and Jennifer 

TV station: ATWT’s WOAK, featuring Kim, Katie, Molly, GL’s Holly and GH’s Tiffany 

Fancy restaurant: DAYS’ Chez Rouge, run by Maggie.

Diner: GH’s Kelly’s, run by ATWT’s Henry and Vienna 

Coffeehouse: VERBOTENE LIEBE’s No Limits, run by Christian and Olli 

Dive bar: GH’s Jake’s, manned by Coleman, of course 

Obligatory rich family: GH’s Quartermaines 

Obligatory working-class family: ATWT’s Snyders 

Obligatory villains: DAYS’ Stefano, GH’s Helena and GH’s Mr. Craig 

Local clergy: OLTL’s Andrew, GH’s Mateo Ruiz, SUNSET BEACH’s Antonio and PASSIONS’ Father Lonigan 

Garage and auto shop: ATWT’s Burt’s garage, with mechanics Simon and GH’s Johnny 

Hair and nail salon: OLTL’s Foxy Roxy’s, staffed by OLTL’s Roxy, Y&R’s Jill (until she joins up at Forrester, that is) and ATWT’s Rose and Mitzi (hey, it’s my fantasy, Rose can be alive!) 

Mental hospital: GH’s Roselawn, staffed by B&B’s Taylor, GH’s Lainey and OLTL’s Marty and populated by AMC’s Janet, Y&R’s Patty and ATWT’s Paul 

Private investigators: GL’s Harley, AMC’s Tad and Aidan, GH’s Sam 

Gratuitous international spy organization: GH’s WSB, featuring Robert and Sean, plus DAYS’ Shane, Billie and Philip 

Babies: DAYS’ Sydney, Y&R’s Delia, the boys who played AMC’s Miranda, GL’s Henry and GH’s Emma 

People whose job is to just generally be awesome: Y&R’s Jack, GL’s Bill, B&B’s Bill, ATWT’s Lucinda, DAYS’ Maggie, AMC’s Adam and Stuart 

Because this list isn’t complete without him: Y&R’s Mr. Kitty

Originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com