Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala

So, I have this pattern with GH. I like one episode and then the very next one sends me plummeting back to disappointment-land. The lead up to the carnival, on Tuesday, was integrated, fun, and aside from a few missteps, incredibly enjoyable. The fall-out yesterday…? Was baffling. Can someone explain to me the need to have Jason wander the carnage like a sad, lost puppy? A man who has seen — no, CAUSED — so much violence in Port Charles is suddenly devastated enough to require his own montage? There is not enough eye-roll in the world for that. And why in the world would Rebecca give consent for Edward to be treated at GH? SHE’S NOT A QUARTERMAINE. THEY AREN’T RELATED. If you can’t pay Leslie Charleson(Monica) or Jane Elliot (Tracy) for that day, couldn’t somebody have at least gone and found Jason and had him sign a consent form? Or would that have cut into his quality angst time? 

Why was Sonny hanging out at GH waiting for news on Dominic while Kristina was buried in the wreckage? I mean, it’s been patently obvious for years that his daughter is his last priority (“I know you plowed into my wife and caused her miscarriage, but have some money and go buy something pretty!”), but now she has to fall behind the son he doesn’t even know he has? Ridic’! 

Must be a pattern with those mob boys, considering Jason remembered to mope over Jake only because something fell on the kid. Not that I’m complaining about seeing Jake, who is adorable. And tied with OLTL’s baby Hope for the unintentionally hilarious reaction of the week. He was so unconcerned about having been injured and only cried when he was lifted onto the gurney to be taken away from the carnival! Much like Hope, who apparently adored her Russian kidnappers and only started bawling when they gave her back to Starr to hold. 

But back to GH and its utterly confounding decisions. How do two guys with little to no cover survive a HAIL OF BULLETS? I mean, it was silly enough when Spinelli was directly in the line of fire and somehow escaped wounding, but for both him and Johnny to survive the warehouse hit was laughable. And the fact that mob scion Johnny is the one who ended up shot is a total head-scratcher. I know the show loves Spinelli, but that doesn’t make the Jackal literally bulletproof, ya know? 

Here’s the thing: You can’t really fool a soap viewer. It doesn’t matter if you bring in a troupe of clowns and jugglers and a real Ferris wheel or pull off the coolest shoot-out montage if you don’t have your basic story points straight. Fans are still going to notice that Rebecca isn’t eligible to give medical consent just because she’s Emily’s sister! 

The scope of the carnival was great, a job honestly well done. But soaps need to remember that at the end of the day, it’s not about the magnitude of the event, it’s about the details.


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