Ah, the mating call of the drunken frat boy and smashed sorority girl; how I’ve missed it.  Only not so much.

Living above several establishments of the bar/pub variety, I am used to varying levels of “whooooooo!” and “whoo-hoo” around 1 or 2 in the morning on a Thursday or Friday. It’s part of the ambiance, holds a certain comfort, and can even provide entertainment on a night where you can’t sleep. I have fond memories of an instance where some poor shmuck was trying to calm down his obviously drunk-off-her-ass batshit crazy girlfriend, who wouldn’t quit cussing and screaming.  I live several floors up, but every “Baby, they’re calling the cops!” and “I don’t f—-g care! Screw you!” was broadcast in Surround Sound.  Hi. Larious.

So, yes, I’m used to a certain amount of noise.  But imagine my surprise when there was “whoo-hoo”-ing at 3:30 this afternoon.  It’s a little early for that sort of thing, isn’t it? And yet, there they were, intermittent “whoooooooooo”s.  When I finally ventured downstairs to run a few errands, I found the source… and, for a moment, thought I had stepped back in time.

A large throng of college-age drunken revelers in green T-shirts, green leis, and green hats was staging a pre-St. Patrick’s Day pub crawl!  Yes, despite them being illegal in New York City. Yes, despite the fact that a roving crowd THAT BIG is not subtle at all.  All of a sudden, I felt like I was back on High Street in Oxford during that oh-so-memorable holiday known as Green Beer Day. Celebrated on March 13 this year, it’s an illustrious student-driven holiday. A time-honored tradition to counteract the fact that St. Paddy’s always falls during MU’s spring break, it’s a day when Oxford’s bars rake in their biggest revenue… and Miami University’s professors have their biggest headache.  

On GBD, uptown Oxford is a veritable orgy of green dye, witty t-shirts and “whoooooooo”-ing.  Today, so is my neighborhood! It was nearly impossible to navigate the sidewalk, the crosswalks were terrifying… what with the potential for boozin’ Biff and his buddy Chip to get splattered on the pavement ala Frogger… and it’s just annoying.  Let’s face it, two people screaming at each other on the sidewalk at 2 a.m. is one thing.  Several groups of twenty-five wandering through at half hour intervals over the course of an entire afternoon and evening…? Could drive a gal to drink.

Beware the Ides of March INDEED.