Thanks to the 40th anniversary episodes, I felt compelled to tune in to ONE LIFE TO LIVE last night on SOAPnet. I shouldn’t have. I really, really shouldn’t have. I was going to post a really vehement, bile-laden ramble about Marty and Todd. Instead, I’ll just let the Instant Messenger session I had with a poor, defenseless, non OLTL-watching friend do the talking for me.

Me: Susan Haskell’s Marty has chemistry with Trevor St. John’s Todd. That is SO wrong. 
Poor Defenseless Friend: I don’t actually know what that means. 
Me: Todd, then played by Roger Howarth raped Marty back in 1993. 
PDF: Ah, okay. 
Me: Gang-raped, no less. 
PDF: Ewww. 
Me: It was one of the most brutal scenes I have ever seen on daytime. Now, Todd found amnesiac Marty being held captive and is letting her secretly convalesce with him…and he’s poisoning her against people he hates, neglecting to tell her she has a SON, etc. 
PDF: Ooooh. Evil. Super evil.
Me: Completely! They need to get her out of that room! It’s all Stockholm Syndrome-y…except she doesn’t know she’s a prisoner. 
PDF: Cree. Pee. 
Me: Todd and Marty just wandered to the subject of college. (I gather he’d initially told her they knew each other from school, and that’s how he gained her trust.) 
PDF: Ah. 
Me: College is when he raped her. 
PDF: I assumed as much. 
Me: It gets worse! Marty is paralyzed or has problems from the waist down. He’s helping her with her physical therapy. 
PDF: Ewwwww. 
Me: And he’s flashing back to Marty dancing on a table, drunk. “So we were friends?” she’s wondering. “We slept together,” he says. 
PDF: Ewewewewewewewewew. 
Me: I KNOW. They can’t show the rape because it was a different actor, but that table dance was the same night, I think. Oh, wait, they CAN show the rape if they want because Todd got plastic surgery! That’s how they explained the recast. 
PDF: LOL. 
Me: I know. Soaps are crazy. And what’s worse, she wouldn’t realize it was the same guy! 
PDF: Oh, that’s effed up. 
Me: Apparently he WILL tell her that she was raped. 
PDF: But not by him, naturally. 
Me: No, I think not. I may have to curl up in fetal position. 
PDF: Aww. 
Me: I was hoping to tune in and watch silly time travel stuff. Oh, EW. “You actually told me that I wasn’t very good in bed,” says Todd. 
PDF: ACK! 
Me: She did that… which is what led to him raping her. To prove his manhood. 
PDF: Gross. 
Me: They are *laughing* about this and he’s touching her legs. Oh, God. OMG. Marty’s apologizing for hurting HIM. 
PDF: Ewewewewewewewewew. 
Me: You’re lucky you’re not actually watching. 
PDF: You *could* change the channel. 
Me: True, but it’s like a trainwreck. I want to see JUST how awful and inappropriate this show is going to be. 
PDF: Incidentally, I am VERY unhappy that Dr. Julian on NIGHT SHIFT is no longer played by the same hot guy. 
Me: Yeah, the original actor’s little brother is wee in comparison and also attractive, but not the same hot. 
PDF: See, I don’t even find him particularly hot. 
Me: I still like NS better than GH, though. 
PDF: I like Antonio Sabato Jr. in a towel! 
Me: Marty just asked Todd what caused her change from party girl to med student. The Big Reveal is looming. 
PDF: Dun dun dun… 
Me: My brain has died. From horror. Todd just put it right out there: “You were raped.” 
PDF: Eesh. 
Me: I should probably watch a clip of kittens or something to cheer me up. Or Antonio Sabato, Jr. in a towel. 
PDF: Yeah, that might be wise.

originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com