Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala

I’ve already admitted I basically have GENERAL HOSPITAL on for background noise these days. Who wants to tune in for young guys going psycho with axes, roughing up women and getting killed, right? Yuck. It’s summer. Where’s the romance and where are the abs? This is half the reason why BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL and AS THE WORLD TURNS were so much fun this week…gratuitous shirtlessness abounded! Bless you, Eric and Donna, for throwing a pool party. We should have a pool party every Friday on every show during these steamy summer months, while the other four days a week are devoted solely to vets and family-driven storylines. (Swimsuits optional.) That’s the other half of why B&B and ATWT were so much fun this week: Forresters and Hugheses and Stewarts, oh my!

Uh, wait…did I have a point somewhere in there? I think I did. Ah, yes, GH is depressing. But instead of continuing to kvetch, I propose an idea to shake things up. It’s actually an idea I co-hatched with Samantha, our intern: “Hit Jason on the Head; Win Steve Burton an Emmy.” That pretty much sums it up, though it doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. Picture it — Jason gets into his umpteenth Mob brawl and lands in the hospital with a cracked noggin. When he awakens, he is Jason Quartermaine again. Bewildered, confused, more than 10 years older, he now has to be told that almost his entire family is dead. No Alan, no AJ, no Emily, no Lila. Can you imagine? All there is left of the Qs are Monica, Tracy and Edward, who would be so, so shaken and ecstatic about Jason Q’s return. Then, slowly, his awareness of his life as Jason Morgan comes back, too, and he has to reconcile his two identities. You know Steve Burton would be awesome. That elusive Lead Actor Emmy he’s been missing these last few years could be well within his grasp.

Not to mention that it could be the perfect way to bring back Vanessa Marcil’s Brenda, because she’s one of the few people left that Jason would know from before. His prom date and housemate, she and his old pal Robin would both try and anchor him and help him grapple with who he’s become. The ripple effect of Jason’s transformation would touch Sonny, Carly, Elizabeth, Lucky, and baby Jake… and probably impact the whole canvas. Man, I’m actually salivating over the possibilities like somebody put a big, juicy steak in front of me.

That’s better than gratuitous beefcake.

That would make me tune in again.

Wishful thinking, right? I know. Thank goodness NIGHT SHIFT starts on July 22!


originally posted on

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