I’m a writer. Even when other designations like “crazy person” or “screw up” or “geek” or “program associate” were what I was operating under, I considered myself a writer. It’s what I do. Unfortunately, it’s not what I do. While thousands of people sign up for things like National Novel Writing Month so they can churn out 50,000 words and dub themselves a novelist, I suffer from creative paralysis, unable to finish anything of consequence. That’s not to say I’m not creating. I do write for fun, I do write for work. The latter is published, the former is not…for various reasons. Primarily length and secondarily legal issues.
The other night, my friend Carrie was trying to convince me to write something and as I shared misgivings about doing the idea justice, she asked, “Aren’t you the Queen of the Implausible, Who Somehow Makes It Seem Logical and Right?”
Am I? It was a nice thing to hear, and yet… if I was “the queen of the implausible,” wouldn’t I have something published to show for it by now? And I’m speaking fictionally. Nonfictionally, I’m definitely bringing it already. There are so many authors who started out on the Internet, on the message boards and e-mail communities and the blogosphere, who have taken the next step. Mostly in genre fiction but also in other realms. Why can’t I do it? Because I may be able to make a plot or characters seem “logical and right,” but I don’t have the discipline to follow it through on a longterm level. I’m afraid, I’m lazy, I lack the ethic. It’s hard to finish things. I’m a great starter, but finishing…? Yeah, I’m the Queen of the Implausible all right.
And lest this get entirely too whiny and navel-gaze-y, I present to you some completely unrelated links:
A company that makes the giant Union Rats, one of which was in front of my office building for a couple of days last week. No, I didn’t take my own picture, but I was REALLY tempted. The things are FREAKY.
Judith Light’s Karen Wolek breaks down on the witness stand – Totally classic One Life to Live from 1979, one of the MOST famous soap opera scenes ever. Has nothing to do with rodents, except that Marco Dane was one.